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“I am too nice to men...:” How to avoid being victim of your own kindness?

27 December 2021, Anita
“I am too nice to men...:” How to avoid being victim of your own kindness?

“I am too nice to men...” This is what some women say to themselves when they realize that their kindness is backfiring on them. All is well if men don't see this kindness as a weakness. Where it can get awkward is when they start to manipulate or take advantage of you.

Be nice… but not too much.

You have the right to be nice ... but not too much. I don't really like the phrase “you're nice” because it can hide a lot of things. Sometimes the interlocutor says it simply because being kind himself, he perceives this goodness in us and is sensitive to it. Other times it just means “you're a girl that can be easily taken advantage of...” To me, I like to answer that I am “nice... but not too much” to signal to my interlocutor that my kindness is present but that it has its limits.

How they test your limits.

Some men will go out of their way to find out if you are the “too nice” woman or the “nice but not too much” woman. This is how I react to these situations as a “nice but not too much” woman

He calls you or asks you to call at any time of the day or night.

If I were you, I wouldn't answer the phone all the time to let him know that I also have a life beside him and other things to deal with in my schedule.

He's trying to change your schedule.

I won't take a change of schedule change or cancelling a ride just to see him. Already things are going badly with other people, but on top of that, I don't want to be available to a man, just because they want to see me. They have to adapt to my own schedule.

He asks you to come and see him or invites himself into your home at the last moment.

I will not accept this kind of meeting, already to show him that I am not at his disposal. But also because when they offer this kind of date, men often have something on their mind...

He stops giving you news to see your reaction.

I won't call him until he misses me and finally calls me back. I have already given in and ended up sending a message or calling, it never led to good results...

He cancels the appointments with you at the last moment.

I'll give him a second chance to catch up and if he does the same to me a second time I won't expect anything from him and won't contact him again, in which case he shouldn't be so interested...

He's trying to sleep with you to quickly.

I refuse until I am sure he wants seriousness, that is to say at least after a few weeks or even a few months (depending on the situation). A man who just wants sex will not wait long: after a while he will go get what he needs elsewhere.

So are you a “too nice girl” or a “nice but not too nice” girl?
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