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Love and family

“My husband cheated on me, should I forgive him?” What should you absolutely know?

20 December 2021, Penda
“My husband cheated on me, should I forgive him?” What should you absolutely know?

If your husband has cheated on you but he wants to rebuild a married life at all costs, you have to give yourself the means to have confidence in him again.

Something that is feared the most in a couple because it is the first cause of divorce, adultery, is a common act. What to do with a husband who cheats on you? Can we still trust him? These very personal answers to be found must be accompanied by a thorough analysis.

After several years of living as a couple and as a successful family, you find that your relationship with your husband is in turmoil. Besides, you find him absent and you begin to have a terrible doubt: is he cheating on you? The rest, you may know it.

The first questions turn into doubt, before turning into real suspicion. Until your man can no longer deny the obvious: he cheated on you. The times which follow this "crisis" are generally those of total questioning. What to do? At this point, it is essential to find the answers that will allow you to make major decisions.

There is deception and deception

From a religious point of view, adultery has only one meaning. However, from a formal point of view, it is possible to distinguish two forms of deception: the so-called “furtive” one, which is considered as a one-night stand, and the so-called “lasting” one, which can be seen as a double life led by the husband.

In the event that the man has a mistress, it is obvious that the first reaction is violent and unreal. The most painful thing to come to terms with is imagining that her marital history has been truncated by her husband's cheating. This new reality takes time to be understood, and it is important to move away from the family home if possible.

How did you find out that your husband was cheating on you?

Then again, after having built a long relationship with her husband - and having had children - the way in which one learns that one has been cheated has a big impact on the future. Oftentimes, when the extramarital affair has gone on for a long time, your partner no longer has the weapons or the courage to admit the truth. Gnawed at by doubt, you have to conduct a grueling and stressful personal investigation to bring her to the truth, and it may leave its mark.

There is also chance that does things well (or badly). A friend was walking around town when suddenly she saw your husband in the distance in the arms of another woman. Again, when you get a phone call from your friend, the feeling of shame and humiliation can be overwhelming. It may even increase the crisis within your relationship.

On the other hand, if your husband spontaneously confesses to you that he cheated on you - occasionally or over a long period of time - it may be possible to show greater understanding. Certainly, the feeling of betrayal remains the same, but if you are ready to forgive him, marital and family reconstruction may be easier.

Confidence, a crucial question to rebuild your marriage after adultery

If your husband has cheated on you but he wants to rebuild a married life at all costs, you have to give yourself the means to have confidence in him again. To be able to forgive in the long term, without resentment or obligation, you must have understood the reasons that led your man into the arms of another. Some women never got there and, as a result, got divorced. Others achieve this through a fairly lengthy analysis that balances all the causes behind the deception.

Trust is the glue of a couple and it works like an unbreakable pact. When it is broken up as a result of an extramarital affair, it cannot come back overnight. Only a work of reconstruction together, which involves establishing new foundations and habits, can restore confidence.
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